My Home

Is where my heart is
The place where there is peace
and days are spent in bliss

But that place is now a fantasy
A mythical ideology
And a sorrowful symphony

As I stare into the space
All I see, is the future in haze
As I live in this place of emptiness

 

To the reader:  Good day! It’s been few weeks since I haven’t updated, was a bit busy with work and some personal decisions to make regarding my career.  So, about this poem, I always believe that home is where the heart is, for “home” as a context to me is a place of rest, where I can relax and be taken care of. Sometimes when we find the one that we love, we would take that as find a home of our own, I, for one believe in this idea. For wherever your heart is, your home will be there for it is there where I will rest my love and forever be happy. But what if we lost it? or is burned or destroyed by natural disaster? We’ll be lost, it’ll break us apart for it is there that we’ve built our foundation and everything that we love. Whether it be love, family or friends each and everyone of us creates a home we can go to. I don’t know if you’ve understand this, but home is where I am happy, where I’ll feel love and where all my love is.

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Boring

Plain and unadorned
Simple and straight to the point
The things that you scorn
Are the abilities of my own

You’re words drop a bomb
To the still world I was on
You left me in destruction
By the words that you’ve thrown

You were the chief reason
The piece that change the motion
I was on a constant renovation
Innovating, designing and changing my own

You were the inspiration
A charismatic pandemonium
That lead me into this revolution
Of thoughts and mortal obsession

I was trying to be a clown
To make you happy on my own
You were my constant addiction
And I was drowning on my own.

To the readers: Hey! It’s the fourth of June, haven’t posted in a while, and this would be my first for this month :).

Sometimes love can make us do silly things, we treat the words from the one we love as a law or a decree from a high standing royalty that has to be followed, we follow these orders/wants from them, we change ourselves to what they like, from the completely boring person we are, we became what we are not, sometimes it is good to change but sometimes we need to keep a part of ourself to revert back where we are, so we can find ourselves if ever we lost ourselves or break into pieces. The story of this poem is about how love changes a person and how determined love is :).

One Sided

I was normal but incomplete
I have everything but without you near
I was like a pot, perfect, but have nothing in it
I was lacking life, to cherish and adore

I have eyes but I can’t see
I was looking at things wrongly
I was only thinking of you and me
And not the possibility if it was me you see

I had two hands but was touching nothing
I meant to hold you in an endless embrace
I wanted to show you that love is a bliss
Sometimes short-lived but true love is undying

I had two ears but I can’t hear
That your heart beating for me was unreal
I was under a spell so cruel
It was making me think that forever was real

To the reader: One sided love,often refers to a person who is deeply in love with another person who does not feel the same way. This kind of love is the hardest and the saddest. How can you fall in love with someone you can’t have? But still wish for their own happiness, if that person gets hurt you’d get hurt too. This is, in all it’s emotional complexity is one aspect of love that’s so enchanting and mind blowing. It can make a hard-headed person yield and the weak strong. So keep faith that love is real, even though its complex and destructive it is still magical, it heals the brokenhearted and completes the lonely person. At one point in time not all love are given are to be reciprocated after all it is more blessed to give than to receive. 🙂 smile! keep loving.

I kept it in

Like a thief afraid to be caught
I hide my emotions so no one can sought
And look into my innermost thoughts
To find the feelings forgotten and lost

This was how I was taught,
By myself, that being fragile is naught
Because I was once fragile and soft
And am now broken into pieces and lost

Because I was the one who thought
That you were the one that I sought
But your were just a fleeting shadow
A phantom that has become a ghost

And so I kept in the most
And never ever let it show
Because I’m afraid that I will burst
If my feelings are disclosed

Congrats

You’re on the stage clad
in the best gown in town while
Mom and Dad smiles wide

Dedication: 
I wanted to say congratulations to my sister for graduating this year, congrats! You’re now on the way to being a teacher, I hope that whoever child you teach you plant in them the seed of curiosity to learn, to seek learning is the most wonderful thing you can teach and teach them how to love everyone around them, not just in text but teach them through actions. I know the road is uncertain but relax you’re on for something thrilling, let’s roll and God Bless you, congrats!

It was not love

Your eye’s that seem to know
All the sadness I can’t show
The gaze that thaws the snow
And puts my heart aglow

Your mouth that speaks of comfort
Of what I want to hear the most
It provokes my mind and awakens thoughts
Into speaking the unspoken words

Your touch they remind me
That pain is just temporary
If you have someone to help carry
Then things will be more easy

But there was one thing I misunderstood
That everytime I see you my heart would stop
I’d get shy for no reason and I was shock
But I know we’re just friends and it was not love

To the reader:
I know, that’s why thanks for being a great friend. Sometimes we must not let outside factors affect you, if they linked you together because you look good with each other, listen to your heart first and observe then follow your heart, but carry your brain, it is much more comfortable to have a friend than to have a partner but lose her in the end, it will hurt like hell and your heart will be torn in two. So think first before you act, sometimes accidents happen, but always remember safety first 🙂 think for the better.

A visit

I went back to a place I know
When I was once a boy
To see faces from my mind
The pictures in my soul

The pictures that I long to replicate
From the memories of my past state
My innocent life when I didn’t know anything yet
Was something not others can duplicate

It’s something my teachers gave
And my classmates fill of share
All the times that we have shared
They all come back as I visit this place

About the Picture: This picture is in front of my alma mater in high school The Sisters of Mary School. A Roman Catholic schools which focuses on helping the poorest of the poor youth of the country, for Philippines we have four branches of this school 2 in Cavite and 2  in Cebu (Minglanilla and Talisay).

Author’s Note: Sometimes when we visit a place all memories will rush back to us, those memories that we thought we’ve already forgotten as time passed by. There are mixed feelings when coming to places like this, as for me, I missed the brotherly love I experienced in my highschool.

              Imagine all 2100 plus boys studying together in a campus, only going out outside the world to have vacation for 14 days a year and the rest is all about study, praying, working and playing. I lived with 50 students which became my dorm mates for four consecutive years in highschool. This 50 boys came from different islands here on Philippines(Visayas and Mindanao) each growing up in a different kind of environment, with each, an attitude to his own. Our first year was a mess, with each adjusting to each other, fights and conflicts arise due to misunderstanding attributed to behaviour, language and mainly the energy of youth. So all this and that we learned to live in sync for four years, eating and living in the same environment, equally with the same clothes, study materials. We face the same trials and encounters in our early youth as highschoolers and that created a kind of love which is hard to find brotherly love created through our bonding. We do everything at the same time with set schedules for study, praying, playing and working. We do everything together so that no one is left behind and no one will feel lonely and that everyone is responsible for looking out for each other, we value each other and treat everyone as real siblings with the sisters standing as our mother.

              Even now, I still long to go back to those days where life was fun and full of innocence without a care for what will happen tomorrow, only focused on what is happening at the moment. So to admit, I miss the school, the family, the friends, the loving sisters and the love I received from everyone. All of this I realised when I visited this place.